Adventures in Adventure 1: Chicago Arrival

We are here in Chicago. We're staying in the Chicago South Loop Hotel, not the fanciest place around, but it more than serves its purpose as a sleep/shower joint. Right now we're online trying to figure out which pizza options are open to us at this time of night (1:52 AM).
New Info:

• Trains are $2.50 per ride, or $5 for a day pass.
• Some of the reviewers over at Hotels.com are whiny bastards (The room I'm in is dandy!).
• In-Phone GPS systems HATE Chicago streets.
• I really really really want a cup of shitty diner coffee.

(2:23 AM) Apparently there is no such thing as authentic Chicago-style pizza past midnight.

Video of hotel room [coming soon]: